岡本和服初體驗~恥度炸裂的清水寺 - 旅遊
By Barb Cronin
at 2014-01-25T18:20
at 2014-01-25T18:20
Table of Contents
無背景音樂網誌版http://wp.me/p2G3W1-2Hk
2014.1.21
三十歲了,好像要做點什麼事情來證明跟二十代有所區別,
比如…來嘗試點以往都不敢觸碰的新事物,獲得嶄新的經驗、
來場驚世駭俗又不失超越自我的旅行~
當我妹提出想去清水寺租借和服的提議,
與此同時我正閱讀板上男生穿和服的文章,
兩者相碰撞激盪出來的靈光一閃:三十歲要做的事情呼之欲出,
那就是跟妹妹兩人穿˙和˙服˙逛˙京˙都!
挑選的店家是岡本織物清水坂店,給它預約開門時間9點,
打算物盡其用租到晚上再還,美美穿戴一整天~
早上七點半妹妹就爬起來化妝了,我則還在賴床,
等她畫好之後幫我畫眼影、戴假睫毛,才發現女生每次約會遲到其來有自…
實在太麻煩惹!等她打理好我倆都已經八點半…看著鏡子裡的那個人妖,
好可怕;走路、搭公車時很不安,頻頻跟妹討論:「我還是穿男生和服好了。」
「嘖!都已經化好妝臨陣脫逃很丟臉耶,而且眼影現在塗不掉。」
恩,為了30歲的大膽突破,我硬著頭皮走上清水坂。
遊覽車停車場旁有公廁,想著穿和服要憋很久的屎尿,
去那邊解放一番再去岡本,路上…
「你有沒有記岡本在哪裡啊?」妹問我。
「怎麼可能會記,這事不是妳去辦的嗎?」手邊又沒網路…
「好啦好啦,網誌有寫在清水坂的某一處,仔細找就是了~」
幸好妹妹有找到,小巷子路口也放一個模特兒蠻顯眼的,
於是我懷抱惴惴不安又帶點挑戰的情緒下階梯了。
岡本店裡沒人,原以為人會很多,
結果我們遲到十幾分鐘還是第一組到的,也好~這樣我就少了點尷尬!
報上預約者名字,再跟店家說聲不好意思晚些到,接著就讓我們挑選衣服啦~
接待小姐聽到我跟妹妹一起要穿女裝和服,處變不驚依序介紹:
先選服裝花色、腰帶&飾品、挑襯衣,
照網路上經驗女孩兒不在這裡挑一個小時是不可能的,
但店員推薦我的幾乎都照單全收,妹妹也頗果斷下決定,
所以撿下來半個小時收工,風格選擇的結果:
妹妹走溫柔可愛風;我被安排到冷豔媽媽桑這條不歸路。
被帶上二樓變身,當然還是要到男生間去換裝,
環顧狹窄和室,男生款的確乏善可陳,沉穩無生氣,
這種花色款式,租借費1000円才合理吧!
後來被一個熟練的阿姨打扮,叫我脫到只剩內褲@@
WTF,網路上不是寫裡面可以穿內衣嗎?但阿姨擺明想吃豆腐,
所以我乖乖就範,好險今天沒穿低腰三角褲…
層層衣物不停用力纏繞我的腹部,就算水桶腰此刻也要變水蛇腰,
沒吃早餐果然是睿智的決定,否則要吐出來了。
著衣完叫我去最裡面的房間等候,順便選披肩,
妹妹在化妝間配戴小花髮飾,
順便叫我過去選了一朵髒髒的白花簪上假髮,這個額外付300円。
妹偷偷跟我說當她在換衣服的時候,
聽到阿嬤說:「又有男生要穿女生和服了…」
然後在她旁邊竊竊私語,她才說不好意思那個人是我哥,
才避免她們繼續說出什麼話,我聽後大笑,講出來才知道她們在想什麼啊~
下樓給我們選手提包、襪子size和木屐,這些我無從選擇,只能拿最大的,
這時陸續有人上門要變身了,幸好避開她們^^
出門前要先結帳,一萬一千多日幣,可以寄物在店內,
然後庭院拍個照給店家留念,我們就往清水寺撒野去。
甫出清水坂立即有阿兜啊回眸側看,超擔心是不是被識破男兒身的!
整路遮遮掩掩到清水寺,妹妹半路被香港客纏上要求合影。
上階梯時我跟妹妹直說:「欸,我抬腳來腳毛都會大露出耶!」
害得我走路整個超彆扭,平常一個箭步跨三階,
如今一個台階要兩步才完成,穿和服一定躲不了活死人的追殺。
買完票從臨時參拜口進去,進不了清水舞台,階段太高了跳下去必然穿幫、
地主神社石階也太多不想走、與清水舞台合影完速速離去,
今日清水寺的熱門點我們簡直可用「走馬看花」來形容!
後山是我們的轉折點,拐個彎往子安塔的沒人路上就開始搞怪拍照,
這裡根本是拍和服的好地方,所有的羞怯丟一旁去!
聽從我的勸,妹妹把披肩拿掉,果然有美感多了,
否則蓋上那塊白布活像個佝僂的臭女孩,駝背駝背的沒精神,
但此舉好像也種下禍端…隔日發作。
想到板友推薦清水寺後山小徑可以到清閑寺,想來那邊也少人煙,
於是信步漫遊山林間,詭譎的是這邊沒設驗票口…是個Bug!
接下來都是放肆的野拍,有傷尊眼還請見諒快速跳過~
走回人很多的清水寺,一對日本夫婦還跑過來跟妹子講我們很美麗,
她整個人爽到樂不可支,忘了剛剛喊的腰痛。
因為我害羞的緣故,選擇茶碗坂避開人群,
路過岡本本店還想直接把和服退掉XD
「你穿這樣好像媽媽桑喔,我則是你旗下的舞妓。」妹子這樣說我
「可能妳身價太差了,以致我兜售一夜妳都沒恩客,
白天才在清水寺周圍閒晃,行情這般差。」媽媽反唇相譏
207公車坐兩三站,下東山七条,帶妹妹看她想看的三十三間堂,
四個月前才看過這次又來,我有些膩…漫不經心游移,
走路時不小心撞到東西叫了一聲,據妹妹說嚇到迎面而來的年輕女性,
呵呵,沒看過這麼MAN的美女吧!
三十三間堂前一群外國遊客,一名中年大叔詢問能否照相,
我妹慷然應允,靠!我明明叫她say NO的,
結果換來一整團的男性瘋狂攝影,
完蛋了我這輩子穿女裝的照片都會在他們的記憶卡裡面,慚愧!
花600円進去看一下就閃出來紀念品店休息了,原因是木地板太冷,
坐在長椅上吹暖氣多爽!只是妹妹說穿和服很負擔,我的腰都不會痠嗎?
嘿嘿,其實還好耶沒啥感覺,能矯正脊椎側彎我高興都來不及了。
三十三間堂庭院裡一位貌似印度人的男生頗討厭,
趁我們坐著整理儀容時大喇喇走到我們面前拍,
想伸出中指被妹妹制止住XD
好兇喔我,穿和服也沒淑女一點。
「好冷喔,我不行了!找間餐廳吃完中餐就把衣服拿去退吧」
本來還想去鴨川的說,但我鼻涕快要飛濺出了…
京都国立博物館雖然在整修,但飲食店からふね屋和紀念品店持續營業,
門內是讓人不想離開的暖氣,坐下來本來想點個鬆餅吃吃就好,
但是鬆餅的價錢都可以吃咖哩豬排飯了,而且大盛只要多50円!
馬上從「優雅吃糕點的和服貴婦」變成「大口滿足咖哩豬排醜妹」,
再加200円附白桃茶。
「你很誇張耶,穿和服還可以吃這麼多!我都沒胃口了。」妹妹有點嚇到
不過端上咖哩豬排的時候,先搶去的人是她。
「我忘了早餐沒吃,難怪這麼餓~」都妹妹的話。
菜色不錯喔,吃得很開心,東西價格跟外頭差不多,
不會因為設在博物館裡就變超貴,重點是沒人,我可以吃得很不淑女!
吃完這頓妹妹肚子超痛,卻又不能上廁所,
怕解開衣服之後無法穿回去,落得衣衫不整回岡本的下場;
我翻了翻幾層,發現可以把內褲露出,太開心了我竟然能穿和服小便!
但考慮到妹妹狀況比較emergency,趕緊坐公車回去還衣服。
上清水坂那段路我可以感受到她的痛苦,整路上不時在放屁,
到了岡本還要等店員寬衣解帶的時間,她跟我說那時快憋不住了!
我也沒好到哪去,被帶上樓換衣服剛好房間有一個男生在選衣,
他似乎有點不知所措,我也很羞赧趕緊背對他讓阿姨幫我更衣,
貌似他的女朋友在外面高八度說:「那是男生啦~」
阿姨脫完衣服又晾著我去幫另外男生選衣服,
我以這輩子最快速度摘掉假睫毛、脫下假髮、襪子和小花,
穿戴成嘻哈模樣出去跟妹妹會合,趕快逃離岡本去公廁用濕紙巾,
把眼線弄淡、妹妹也終得解脫,我們一致的結論是:
穿和服根本撐不過一天,這種經驗跟去韓國旅遊相同,一期一會就好!
--
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