請英文高手幫我看一下我的作文 - 旅遊

Hedwig avatar
By Hedwig
at 2012-01-14T00:00

Table of Contents


說明:依提示寫一篇英文作文,文長約120~150個單字詞左右。
題目:假如你有機會跟某個人一起出國自助旅行一個月,你會選擇哪裡?和誰一起去?請以此為主題,寫一篇作文,文中先提及你要去旅行的地方以及你挑選同伴是哪一位(這位同伴可以是任何人),並說明你為什麼挑選這位同伴的原因。
請指導我把錯誤的地方改掉以及哪些地方怎麼寫會更好 謝謝!!
If I had a opportunity to travel abroad for one month, I would want to go to Japan. I am in favor of Japan for three reasons. First, when season is spring, all the cherry blossoms are blooming spectacularly. I think that the beauty of the scenery is beyond description and I will be attractd completely. Second, when season is winter, the snow fall down from the sky. This way, I can appreciate the snow scenery that I had only ever seen before in books or on TV. Last but not least, traveling abroad not only can broaden my horizons, but also becomes an unforgettable experience which will be rooted in my heart.

I would love to invite my best friend, Kevin. It is because that our steady friendship is based on mutual trust. As a well saying goes"A friend in need is a friend indeed". I can't agree with this proverb more because Kevin always helps me whenever I have the difficultys.
Tags: 旅遊

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Liam avatar
By Liam
at 2012-01-18T16:38
If I had the opportunity to travel abroad for one month, I would go to Japan. There are three supported reasons for the choice of mine. As the season of spring, cherry blossoms. I think it's a breathtaking and fascinating scene, yet even words aren't enough for me to describe the beauty of the scene. Followed by the second reason, which comes with the season of Winter. As I'd never seen any snow in my life before, excepted in Korean dramas scene and book. Last but not least, to travel abroad could widen my horizon, meet new people, experience different culture and lifestyle. I think it would be a life-changing experience for me.

By the way, I would love to invite/take my best friend, Kevin to go along with me. As we based our friendship on trust. So, it would be safe for me to travel with him, no matter what problem pop out, I know he would be there with me. As a well saying goes"A friend in need is a friend indeed". I can't agree with this proverb more.
Rosalind avatar
By Rosalind
at 2012-01-14T04:08
小四公主 你好
我覺得你的回答對我最有幫助
因為我可以學習到你寫作的技巧
我有一個疑問 你回答的內容中
If I have an opportunity to travel abroad for a month, I would pick Japan for my destination.
為什麼不是had而是have?
Donna avatar
By Donna
at 2012-01-14T15:56
說明:依提示寫一篇英文作文,文長約120~150個單字詞左右。
題目:假如你有機會跟某個人一起出國自助旅行一個月,你會選擇哪裡?和誰一起去?請以此為主題,寫一篇作文,文中先提及你要去旅行的地方以及你挑選同伴是哪一位(這位同伴可以是任何人),並說明你為什麼挑選這位同伴的原因。
請指導我把錯誤的地方改掉以及哪些地方怎麼寫會更好 謝謝!!
If I have anopportunity to travel abroad for one month, I will want (like) to go to Japan .I am in favor of Japan for three reasons. First, when the season is spring, all the cherryblossoms are blooming (are in full bloom) spectacularly. I think that thebeauty of the scenery is beyond description and I will be attractedcompletely. Second, when season is winter, the snow falls down from thesky. In this way, I can appreciate the snow scenery that I haveonly ever seen before in books or on TV. Last but not least, traveling abroadnot only can broaden my horizons, but also becomes an unforgettable experiencewhich will be rooted in my heart.
I would love to invite my best friend, Kevin. It is because that our steady friendship isbased on mutual trust. A well-known saying goes: “A friend in need is afriend indeed". I can't agree with this proverb more because Kevin alwayshelps me whenever I have difficulty (whenever I am in difficulty). ********** Very well written!********
2012-01-15 09:46:02 補充:
an opportunity / / the beauty // attracted completely // season - the season // the sky // have only ever seen ( have ever seen before only in ) / / experience which // is based /// a friend // always helps
Ingrid avatar
By Ingrid
at 2012-01-15T20:32
attractd要改成attracted吸引
difficultys要改成difficulties困難
剩下的都沒問題
Christine avatar
By Christine
at 2012-01-17T07:50
If I have an opportunity to travel abroad for a month, I would pick Japan for my destination. There are three reasons for this. First of all, in spring all the cherry blossoms are blooming spectacularly, and the beautiful scenery is beyond description and attractive to me. Second, in winter when the snow falls all around, the whole world becomes so white and clean. I could appreciate the white world in person, not through TV or books. Finally, traveling abroad not only broadens my horiaons, but also is an unforgettable life experience rooted in my heart.
The one accompanying me in Japan is my best friend Kevin. The reason I'd like to be with him is because of our firm friendship, which is based on mutual trust. Our friendship is just like an old saying which goes, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." Therefore, I would take such a special trip with someone special enough to spend my wonderful time with.
2012-01-15 19:42:52 補充:
您好,非常感謝您的青睞,是這樣的:
如果我們表達的事情是未來有可能發生,就要用現在簡單式代替未來式.
因為您是說"有機會出國",所以是有可能發生的.
用had過去式就表示跟現在事實相反.
例如:
If I had enough money, I could buy the car.
表示目前我沒有錢.
另外,如果跟過去事實相反,就要用過去完成式,
例如:
If I had had enough money, I could have bought the car.
表示以前沒有錢也沒有買到車子.
希望對您有幫助.

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